Homesickness. Location: Paris.

This is a subject that I hesitate to write about because often dwelling on it makes it worse. I also would never want to worry anyone, but it is a part of the study abroad experience so I figure it deserves a little attention.

This was the first weekend since I've been here in Paris that I got fairly homesick. I've been sick recently and frustrated at some of the people on my program and generally, when things aren't going quite right, homesickness is an obvious side effect. I missed my family a lot this weekend especially when I realized how long it will be before I see them again. I also missed Tufts and my dance company and being in really great sociology classes and being involved in some sort of service work and the Bay Area and Mexican food and New York and the Brooklyn DA's Office and dim sum and chicken corn soup and my friends from Tufts and my friends from home and my cats and my car...

Homesickness for me has changed so much since I first left Mill Valley for Medford. In a way it has gotten easier as I'm more and more used to being away from people and places and things that I love. And in a way, it's just gotten more complicated because now there are more people and places and things that I love so there's a lot more to miss. There were points this weekend when I felt so frustrated with it that I was really questioning whether or not I want to go to Spain next semester. It's hard not seeing my family every 6 weeks and it's hard to feel so disconnected from the Tufts community. In the same way, though, I know I picked these experiences for this year for really good reasons. I also know that these feelings are a part of my lifestyle that I have to get used to. Unless I plan on staying in one place forever and never challenging myself or being independent, I'm always going to be a little homesick. In a few months when I leave Paris, I know I'm going to miss it here too. I'll miss my host family and the friends I met here and the delicious food and my favorite bar and café. It's inevitable. The best I can do is reflect on it and then make myself some of my grandmother's chicken curry. Having people I love around helps too.

Hal and my friend Lizzie at my place last night for chicken curry and cucumber raita. 

Tonight, my host family is making moules frites for dinner and they invited Hal to join us again. It's been a long day of classes and now I have a bunch of work, so it'll be a really great treat. Off to do some reading now...

Love,

Anj