cuteoverload.com for your viewing pleasure. Now if only it brought me these guys in real life...
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Self care methods. Location: Brooklyn.
I'm exhausted from not enough sleep and a rough day and this is the only thing that can make it better:
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Nooooooooooo. Location: Brooklyn.
Are you kidding? Day 2 of weather from hell. I spent yesterday outside most of the day at Hal's sister's camp chorus concert. Somehow I survived. Today better be an indoor day...
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Quote of the day. Location: Brooklyn.
"She had a mid-life crisis and went back to school for social work." -one ADA to another ADA
Also I found out that social workers at my office make $40,000 a year as their starting salary. And that's with a license in social work after getting a masters... Shit.
Love,
Anj
Also I found out that social workers at my office make $40,000 a year as their starting salary. And that's with a license in social work after getting a masters... Shit.
Love,
Anj
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
To trial! Location: Brooklyn.
I don't want those of you reading to expect posts every day because that really, really won't happen. But since I'm a little excited to have gotten this blog all ready and have a minute now, here's 2 for 2.
I realized that on this blog I don't know how much to share about my work. Not because of confidentiality, because criminal case info is all the public's right to know, but rather, because of tertiary trauma. In social work, there's such a thing as "secondary trauma" which can be a consequence of listening to traumatic stories and doing trauma counseling all day. It's something I have certainly experienced in the form of emotional exhaustion and intrusive imagery based on the cases I'm hearing about. Being traumatized secondarily is my choice, however, and I have to recognize that most people wouldn't choose it. So I have to be careful when I tell people about my work. I've noticed that it's really nice to recap what I've been doing with friends for the same reason it's nice to talk about your day no matter what your profession is. However, not everyone is so interested in hearing about my days when they include what they do include. My roommate, Ryan, for example, just told me that he's going to have to stop asking about how my day was because he really doesn't want to know about my cases. While to some degree he was joking, I know too that it is hard to hear about what horrendous things happen to people on a daily basis, even if it's not a first hand account. Hal is so wonderful for always letting me talk about my cases, but I worry too that I'm subjecting him to tertiary trauma because of how much he hears. Anyway, I bring this up because I don't want anyone reading my blog to read about things they don't want to know about. I won't be posting my most horrific stories, but it's all relative and I'm getting used to seeing some real shit. I'm open to suggestions and requests for more censorship if necessary.
The reason I'm thinking about this right now is because I did see something very interesting at work today that I'll try to share. I don't consider it one of the worse cases I deal with, but we'll see what you all thing. The head of VSU asked me today to go to escort a boy at criminal court while he testified as the victim in a misdemeanor trial. The boy was molested last year, when he was 14, by a family friend he had known for years. I waited with him and his family this morning for him to be called to the witness stand and then sat in the audience so he could see me for reassurance if he needed it while he testified. I watched him testify for a good hour and a half to questions posed by the ADA on the case. These were the nice questions, coming from his "side" of the trial. And it was still brutal. Literally every single detail was scrutinized, from what kind of underwear he was wearing to the exact words he said to his family after the incident. He was great and stayed really strong throughout until he left the court room and completely broke down. It was fascinating to watch this process that we only really read about in books or see in movies. I can't imagine sharing such intimate details about such a traumatic event with complete strangers, especially at his age. Luckily for him, his entire family was there to support him, including his parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and siblings. But many such victims are alone or, even worse, disowned by their family for their innocent part in a crime.
I was really frustrated because I had to return to the office for a 2 PM counseling appointment with a family I've been working with all summer (who, by the way, didn't even show up). So I didn't get to see the rest of the boy's family testify or see the cross examination. I heard from another intern I sent over to sit with them for the rest of the day, though, that it was really interesting and really hard. The defense attorney spent another hour and a half going over most of the same details as the ADA along with accusing the boy of all sorts of things. He produced photos from Facebook of the boy playing beer pong and accused him and his parents of being alcoholics. He practically yelled at him, asking why he didn't try to stop the defendant from molesting him either by telling him to stop or running away What the defense was getting at was that this boy didn't really mind being molested at all. Earlier the boy had established with the prosecution that he was scared because this man had never treated him in any inappropriate way before and he had no idea what he was capable of- especially because the defendant was more than twice his size. This is when it becomes really interesting being on the DA/victim's side of things as someone who is much more interested in the criminal's side of things...
At the beginning of the summer, I wondered how my internship would affect my great interest in prisoner and defendant rights and rehabilitation. All of my clients are going through very challenging, traumatic things because of the defendant on their case, and it is hard not to be angry at the defendants for their behavior. However, instead of becoming cynical about criminals as many would predict that I would, I am even more interested to know what has caused their behavior and how their behavior could have been prevented in the first place. Because of this, I continue to be interested in the other side of things even more than victim rights because I feel that the best way to help these victims is not to work with them after the arrest, but to prevent the behavior leading to the arrest from happening altogether. That means working with the defendants, but in what capacity is the question.
Today's experience of hearing about the defense and even contemplating defending the creepy man sitting at the defense table in the face of this boy's story feels crazy. I still feel that defense attorneys are incredibly important, particularly because the lack of good ones out there leads to wayyy too many innocent people behind bars. But when it comes down to it, defense attorneys can only work so hard within the kind of system we have to ask for rehabilitation for their clients in the plea bargaining process. There just aren't enough rehab programs and aren't enough good programs to reduce recidivism and actually be effective in helping defendants turn their lives around. And then in a trial like this one, the whole point is proving not that the defendant needs help, but that he did nothing wrong.
What all this comes down to at this point for me is that yes, I am still very interested in working with defendants, criminals, prisoners and ex-prisoners. But no, I am not interested in re-victimizing innocent people in the process of keeping someone out of jail. And no, I am not interested in getting people off the hook for the awful things they did. People who actually do bad things (meaning not the people who are only prisoners as a result of our shitty system) need to be held accountable for those things, but in such a way that is actually productive for both them and the rest of society. That's the kind of system I want to work for and work towards.
I realized that on this blog I don't know how much to share about my work. Not because of confidentiality, because criminal case info is all the public's right to know, but rather, because of tertiary trauma. In social work, there's such a thing as "secondary trauma" which can be a consequence of listening to traumatic stories and doing trauma counseling all day. It's something I have certainly experienced in the form of emotional exhaustion and intrusive imagery based on the cases I'm hearing about. Being traumatized secondarily is my choice, however, and I have to recognize that most people wouldn't choose it. So I have to be careful when I tell people about my work. I've noticed that it's really nice to recap what I've been doing with friends for the same reason it's nice to talk about your day no matter what your profession is. However, not everyone is so interested in hearing about my days when they include what they do include. My roommate, Ryan, for example, just told me that he's going to have to stop asking about how my day was because he really doesn't want to know about my cases. While to some degree he was joking, I know too that it is hard to hear about what horrendous things happen to people on a daily basis, even if it's not a first hand account. Hal is so wonderful for always letting me talk about my cases, but I worry too that I'm subjecting him to tertiary trauma because of how much he hears. Anyway, I bring this up because I don't want anyone reading my blog to read about things they don't want to know about. I won't be posting my most horrific stories, but it's all relative and I'm getting used to seeing some real shit. I'm open to suggestions and requests for more censorship if necessary.
The reason I'm thinking about this right now is because I did see something very interesting at work today that I'll try to share. I don't consider it one of the worse cases I deal with, but we'll see what you all thing. The head of VSU asked me today to go to escort a boy at criminal court while he testified as the victim in a misdemeanor trial. The boy was molested last year, when he was 14, by a family friend he had known for years. I waited with him and his family this morning for him to be called to the witness stand and then sat in the audience so he could see me for reassurance if he needed it while he testified. I watched him testify for a good hour and a half to questions posed by the ADA on the case. These were the nice questions, coming from his "side" of the trial. And it was still brutal. Literally every single detail was scrutinized, from what kind of underwear he was wearing to the exact words he said to his family after the incident. He was great and stayed really strong throughout until he left the court room and completely broke down. It was fascinating to watch this process that we only really read about in books or see in movies. I can't imagine sharing such intimate details about such a traumatic event with complete strangers, especially at his age. Luckily for him, his entire family was there to support him, including his parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and siblings. But many such victims are alone or, even worse, disowned by their family for their innocent part in a crime.
I was really frustrated because I had to return to the office for a 2 PM counseling appointment with a family I've been working with all summer (who, by the way, didn't even show up). So I didn't get to see the rest of the boy's family testify or see the cross examination. I heard from another intern I sent over to sit with them for the rest of the day, though, that it was really interesting and really hard. The defense attorney spent another hour and a half going over most of the same details as the ADA along with accusing the boy of all sorts of things. He produced photos from Facebook of the boy playing beer pong and accused him and his parents of being alcoholics. He practically yelled at him, asking why he didn't try to stop the defendant from molesting him either by telling him to stop or running away What the defense was getting at was that this boy didn't really mind being molested at all. Earlier the boy had established with the prosecution that he was scared because this man had never treated him in any inappropriate way before and he had no idea what he was capable of- especially because the defendant was more than twice his size. This is when it becomes really interesting being on the DA/victim's side of things as someone who is much more interested in the criminal's side of things...
At the beginning of the summer, I wondered how my internship would affect my great interest in prisoner and defendant rights and rehabilitation. All of my clients are going through very challenging, traumatic things because of the defendant on their case, and it is hard not to be angry at the defendants for their behavior. However, instead of becoming cynical about criminals as many would predict that I would, I am even more interested to know what has caused their behavior and how their behavior could have been prevented in the first place. Because of this, I continue to be interested in the other side of things even more than victim rights because I feel that the best way to help these victims is not to work with them after the arrest, but to prevent the behavior leading to the arrest from happening altogether. That means working with the defendants, but in what capacity is the question.
Today's experience of hearing about the defense and even contemplating defending the creepy man sitting at the defense table in the face of this boy's story feels crazy. I still feel that defense attorneys are incredibly important, particularly because the lack of good ones out there leads to wayyy too many innocent people behind bars. But when it comes down to it, defense attorneys can only work so hard within the kind of system we have to ask for rehabilitation for their clients in the plea bargaining process. There just aren't enough rehab programs and aren't enough good programs to reduce recidivism and actually be effective in helping defendants turn their lives around. And then in a trial like this one, the whole point is proving not that the defendant needs help, but that he did nothing wrong.
What all this comes down to at this point for me is that yes, I am still very interested in working with defendants, criminals, prisoners and ex-prisoners. But no, I am not interested in re-victimizing innocent people in the process of keeping someone out of jail. And no, I am not interested in getting people off the hook for the awful things they did. People who actually do bad things (meaning not the people who are only prisoners as a result of our shitty system) need to be held accountable for those things, but in such a way that is actually productive for both them and the rest of society. That's the kind of system I want to work for and work towards.
Monday, July 18, 2011
More photos! Location: Brooklyn
While I'm at it, I figured I should add some more photos.
With my friend Kim, also an intern at VSU before going out into Manhattan.
With Hal at Habana Outpost, a cool restaurant with an outdoor bar/patio in Fort Greene.
Me and my roommate Ryan before a night of Rebel Bingo!
Me and Hal when my dad came to visit. (The background is a sample of my landlady's artwork...)
Love,
Anj
Better late than never? Location: Brooklyn
So I realize this blog is a bit late, but this summer, I very rarely get a chance to actually sit down and think by myself. I've been so busy with work and seeing friends that spending time on the computer just has not been possible. But I figure better late than never. And anyway, I'll keep using this blog as I go from interning for the Brooklyn District Attorney's Office to studying abroad in Paris to studying abroad in Madrid.
Recap June-now:
I love New York. It's amazing to live here finally 8 years after I said I wanted to. Even though it was Manhattan I first fell in love with, Brooklyn is awesome too. My neighborhood is quieter than the city but super close to Park Slope, which has great food and shopping (and Hal and his family). It's also amazing to be 3 blocks away from the F train which will take me straight to the doorstep of my office in 20 minutes and into the city in 30 or so. (World Lesson #1: it's called the train in New York. Not the subway or the metro. Hal's dad informed me of this and I have since become very embarrassed every time I slip and forget to call it the train). My house is very boho as my landlady is an artist. There's some pretty weird art on the walls and a severe lack of blinds or shades on the windows, but it works for the time being. I'm only living here for another couple weeks or so anyway then I'll move in with Hal to save on rent in August. Unfortunately Hal's family is leaving for their country house in France before I move. It will be nice to have so much space, but it has really been wonderful having them around. I couldn't ask for a warmer, more welcoming family to spend time with (other than my own of course!). Not to mention that his dad makes amazing food and they like to do cool things in New York. It's been hard being away from my family as it always is, but it's at least nice to have someone else's parents around for support and guidance. I've also been spending some time with my roommate, Ryan when I actually happen to be in the house. This week I'm hoping to do a little bit more cooking at home than going out with friends as I have been. Cooking and eating on a budget in New York is actually not as hard as I thought and I end up not spending a crazy amount during the week. Granted, part of that is due to the amount of dollar pizza I am consuming for lunch. That is, pizza that is $1 per slice and one block from my office.
Work at the Brooklyn DA's Office is good. Exhausting, but good. I've learned a lot about self-care and how important that is in the social work world. I'm having rewarding experiences and unlike the other interns I work with at the Victim Services Unit, I wouldn't call the job depressing. It's hard to hear about what my clients are going through and sometimes the system makes their lives even worse. But still, a lot of the time, I am able to really make a difference in a client's situation. Domestic violence is an especially hard crime to deal with because victims come in with a ton of mixed feelings and a lot of complicated circumstances. I have people come in who are homeless because of their case and/or who have completely lost faith in the legal system and/or refuse to cooperate and get services no matter how abusive their partner is. I'm seeing both sides of things because when the system doesn't serve these people, working with them is incredibly difficult. But when it does, it's an amazing thing to be able to empower them to improve their situation. For most of the cases though, I've noticed that people are just really grateful that I'm not some attorney with an agenda. All they really want is to be listened to and get honest information about what they can expect from the courts. That's something I can always give them. A lot of people express really profound gratitude for the way I help them, both in terms of being culturally humble (I'm working with Spanish-speaking victims, gay victims, immigrants, etc.) and in terms of showing them actual compassion. Hopefully I keep having experiences like this, because it really does make all the exhaustion and less than fun experiences worth it.
Okay, last thing and then I'll end this very long rambling post: I have been cooking at least a bit. And taking pictures of my meals to prove it! (Because some people like my mom don't believe that I would ever enter the kitchen...)
Recap June-now:
I love New York. It's amazing to live here finally 8 years after I said I wanted to. Even though it was Manhattan I first fell in love with, Brooklyn is awesome too. My neighborhood is quieter than the city but super close to Park Slope, which has great food and shopping (and Hal and his family). It's also amazing to be 3 blocks away from the F train which will take me straight to the doorstep of my office in 20 minutes and into the city in 30 or so. (World Lesson #1: it's called the train in New York. Not the subway or the metro. Hal's dad informed me of this and I have since become very embarrassed every time I slip and forget to call it the train). My house is very boho as my landlady is an artist. There's some pretty weird art on the walls and a severe lack of blinds or shades on the windows, but it works for the time being. I'm only living here for another couple weeks or so anyway then I'll move in with Hal to save on rent in August. Unfortunately Hal's family is leaving for their country house in France before I move. It will be nice to have so much space, but it has really been wonderful having them around. I couldn't ask for a warmer, more welcoming family to spend time with (other than my own of course!). Not to mention that his dad makes amazing food and they like to do cool things in New York. It's been hard being away from my family as it always is, but it's at least nice to have someone else's parents around for support and guidance. I've also been spending some time with my roommate, Ryan when I actually happen to be in the house. This week I'm hoping to do a little bit more cooking at home than going out with friends as I have been. Cooking and eating on a budget in New York is actually not as hard as I thought and I end up not spending a crazy amount during the week. Granted, part of that is due to the amount of dollar pizza I am consuming for lunch. That is, pizza that is $1 per slice and one block from my office.
Work at the Brooklyn DA's Office is good. Exhausting, but good. I've learned a lot about self-care and how important that is in the social work world. I'm having rewarding experiences and unlike the other interns I work with at the Victim Services Unit, I wouldn't call the job depressing. It's hard to hear about what my clients are going through and sometimes the system makes their lives even worse. But still, a lot of the time, I am able to really make a difference in a client's situation. Domestic violence is an especially hard crime to deal with because victims come in with a ton of mixed feelings and a lot of complicated circumstances. I have people come in who are homeless because of their case and/or who have completely lost faith in the legal system and/or refuse to cooperate and get services no matter how abusive their partner is. I'm seeing both sides of things because when the system doesn't serve these people, working with them is incredibly difficult. But when it does, it's an amazing thing to be able to empower them to improve their situation. For most of the cases though, I've noticed that people are just really grateful that I'm not some attorney with an agenda. All they really want is to be listened to and get honest information about what they can expect from the courts. That's something I can always give them. A lot of people express really profound gratitude for the way I help them, both in terms of being culturally humble (I'm working with Spanish-speaking victims, gay victims, immigrants, etc.) and in terms of showing them actual compassion. Hopefully I keep having experiences like this, because it really does make all the exhaustion and less than fun experiences worth it.
Okay, last thing and then I'll end this very long rambling post: I have been cooking at least a bit. And taking pictures of my meals to prove it! (Because some people like my mom don't believe that I would ever enter the kitchen...)
Chicken nachos and mojitos!
Chicken curry and mixed grains as per my grandmother's recipe
Potato bhagee, saag paneer and naan
Caprese sandwiches with fresh basil from the garden and fresh baked rolls.
Thai chicken and broccoli curry with rice
Spicy pasta with chicken, broccoli, tomatoes, basil and mozzarella.
So, ha, Mom! It's even all been edible.
Love,
Anj
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